Monday, August 10, 2009

Updates and Musings.

First here's the latest update about Chris from Mary:

Hi Everyone,

Thank you for your continued prayers of healing for my brother in law Chris. This week has been somewhat uneventful.

He finished chemo two Sundays ago and is still getting the experimental drug to soften the Leukemia cells. We have been watching his White blood cell count drop down to zero and are still waiting for it to bottom out.

He is doing well. He had to have Zofran( an anti-nausea drug) last week but has been O.K. since Sunday morning.He is eating well and his Colon is fine this time around. He is able to walk the floor and do 2 laps slowly. He really enjoys the visitors. He said it make the time pass by more quickly.

We are in the wait and see mode. This is probably the hardest part. We are all trying to keep Chris in a really positive mind frame. We should know by the 24th or 28th what the bone marrow biopsy says (Pray for complete remission). Then with his sister being a perfect match we will be on to the transplant.

Thanks again for all your support and prayers keep them coming!!!!!!

Mary

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KEEP FIGHTING CHRIS!!!! We are in your corner!!!


On to the musings...

I think I'm losing my mind. Literally. I've lost whole chunks of my memory, I have extreme difficulty remembering faces and names (not just a little but ALL THE TIME and even people I know well!!!) and now my ability to string together concise intelligent sentences is going kaput. It's disturbing but even more so a little sad. Especially the memory loss. I was looking over photos today on Facebook that a friend posted of my old alma mater Indiana University in Bloomington and I recognized almost NOTHING. 4 years of my life... gone. Maybe it would be different if I were there but I doubt it.

I find myself living more in more in the present but I still harbor a bit of sadness that I can't conjure up the memories of the past.

I have the shadows of memories though. The warm feelings about people I love and care about even if I can't remember the story about how we used to go shopping together or even tag-teamed boyfriends with. I have the nuances of the memories and I guess that will have to be enough for me but for just a moment, in this moment, I'm a bit melancholy for the memory Jan who is missing-in-action. Just know, you matter to me because you made a difference in my life... even if I can't remember how! And to put a positive spin on this, I'm the best friend EVER to confide secrets to because within a few days I'll totally forget you ever told me! ;-)

Hugs and happy memories to you all,

Jan

5 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I guess that uneventful news is good news, right?

Deanna said...

Being on overload will do that to a person. I'll lay good money (and I'm not a gambler) that your memory will return once the stress in your life is reduced. In the meantime, enjoy the moment - that's what they say we are supposed to do anyway - right!?!

PetalsYoga said...

Kristina,

You bethca! I'll take boredom over crisis ANY day!


Deanna,

I blame the multiple surgeries I've had more than stress. With each one I lost a few more chunks of my past. I'm not really too upset or stressed right now, quite the opposite really, but sometimes when I see how much I've lost it makes me a bit wistful. I do envy your great capacity to remember things though!

Hugs to you,

Jan

bodaat said...

i can kinda relate sister. i will say something to somebody and then 5 minutes later, i'm wondering if i actually said it out loud or whether i just thought it in my mind. it's driving me BATTY. i've done this so many times this week that rich is wondering what's going on! keep trucking on - that's what i gotta say about it!

ps - i'm kavita. visited you in portland in june. :)
pps - that was my lame attempt at a joke! hahaha!

PetalsYoga said...

Kavita,

Thanks, I actually giggled out loud at that... you made my day!